Shower Beer Rules

One of the greatest past times in history, broken down to a science

Fescoe In The Morning
December 06, 2017 - 10:44 am

The Shower Beer is one of the best things one can have. It's refreshing, fun, and can enhance your shower beyond your wildest dreams.

But it's important to do the Shower Beer the right way, so the textline gave Fescoe in the Morning their rules for a Shower Beer. These are the best ones.

1. Beer Must Be In A Can. We’re dumb and clumsy. No need to bring that risk with a glass bottle in a shower.

2. Light Beer. Nobody wants to drink something that makes you bloated in the shower. Water it down!

3. No bigger than 12 oz. We all love a tallboy, but you have to have time to drink your entire beer. It’s a shower beer, not a shower, dry off, and put on a t-shirt beer.

4. Must Be Summertime. I don’t know that I necessarily agree that it MUST be summertime, but for some reason, shower beers do taste better in the Summer.

5. Keep the beer on the shelf in the shower, not outside of the shower so you don’t forget about it. This is an underrated rule. Nothing worse than forgetting about your shower beer.

6. Can Substitute With Cheap Vodka Drank Out of the Bottle. I’m getting the shakes just reading this. This is hardcore.

Enjoy your Shower Beer!

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